Philosophically speaking, we can define "impose" as the act of asserting one's will or influence upon others or the external world. This definition avoids a negative connotation by recognizing that imposition can be an inherent aspect of human interaction and the exercise of agency. It acknowledges that individuals naturally express their desires, values, or beliefs in various contexts.
From this perspective, imposing can be perceived as essential to navigating social dynamics and shaping the world around us. It involves the expression of personal agency and the attempt to create an impact or influence others in different ways, such as by sharing ideas, setting boundaries, or advocating for change.
However, it is important to note that the ethical implications of imposition can vary depending on the intentions, methods, and effects involved. Imposition becomes problematic when it disregards the autonomy, rights, or well-being of others, or when it seeks to dominate or coerce. And this is where Kindness plays a key role.
Image: Illustration to "A Week of Kindness". Max Ernst, 1934. Paris, France. Retrieved from Wikiart.
The Imposition's ID
There are two main types of imposition: generic and strategic. In both cases, we have the volition to influence, but the reason behind it, the level of intentionality and usually the means applied, are of different natures.
Generic Imposition
Generic imposition refers to the act of asserting one's will or influence upon others or the external world without a specific agenda or strategic objective. It is a more spontaneous or natural expression of one's desires, beliefs, or values. Generic imposers may assert themselves in various ways, such as sharing their opinions, expressing their preferences, or setting personal boundaries. The emphasis in generic imposition is often on individual self-expression and the genuine expression of one's authentic self, while still considering the impact on others.
Strategic Imposition
Strategic imposition involves the intentional and calculated act of asserting one's will or influence upon others or the external world with a specific objective in mind. It is characterized by a conscious consideration of the methods and means used to achieve desired outcomes. Strategic imposers carefully plan their actions, taking into account the interests, motivations, and perspectives of others. They may employ persuasive techniques, negotiation skills, or manipulation strategies to effectively achieve their goals. Strategic imposition often involves a focus on achieving a particular result or outcome, and the emphasis is on achieving that result most efficiently or advantageously.
You'll think, "Yes, these sound reasonable but where is the kindness in all that? Because I don't see it." And I would say that this is because kindness isn't meant to be seen but to be felt. Otherwise, it doesn't fulfil its true purpose.
"Kind People Do Impose with Influence,
not Coercion"
In generic imposition, kindness manifests as a genuine concern for the well-being and autonomy of others. It involves considering the impact of one's actions on those affected and striving to minimize any negative consequences. Kindness within generic imposition recognizes the importance of empathy, respect, and compassion when expressing one's desires or beliefs, thereby promoting understanding and cooperation rather than coercion or dominance.
For instance, Kindness in generic imposition can be demonstrated by actively listening to the thoughts and emotions of a loved one during a disagreement, showing empathy and understanding, and seeking a mutually beneficial resolution.
Example:
"I understand that you're upset, and I genuinely want to find a solution that works for both of us. Can we talk through this and find a compromise?"
"Strategic imposition and kindness are a
completely different story"
In this case, we observe kindness taking on a more calculated approach. It involves consciously utilizing empathy and compassion as tools to persuade or influence others towards a particular goal. Kindness in strategic imposition recognizes that fostering positive relationships and goodwill can increase the likelihood of successful imposition. By engaging with others in a kind and considerate manner, strategic imposers can build trust, encourage collaboration, and create an environment that is receptive to their ideas or desires. It acknowledges that gentle persuasion and respectful communication can often yield better results than forceful or aggressive tactics.
Let's give context to tangibly demonstrate the value of this argument. If a politician was giving an interview on TV a little before the elections, how would he/she avoid a question on a topic that could be harmful to his/her public image? (and potentially to the represented party)
Kindness in this context could involve redirecting the conversation by highlighting a different but relevant topic, while still acknowledging the interviewer's question.
Example:
In this vein, the politician might respond, "While I understand your inquiry, I'd like to shift the focus briefly to an aspect that often goes overlooked but has significant implications. It's important to consider the broader impact and explore alternative perspectives on this matter."
It is essential to recognize, though that kindness in imposition should not be manipulative or disingenuous. Authentic kindness values the dignity and autonomy of others, and it aims for win-win outcomes whenever possible. It is rooted in genuine care and respect rather than a means to achieve personal gain or control. When kindness is practised within both generic and strategic imposition, it has the potential to foster positive relationships, enhance mutual understanding, and create a more harmonious social environment where individuals can assert their will or influence while still prioritizing the well-being and agency of others.
So, now I am asking you again: Can you Impose with Kindness?
