"Obstacle" is my second favorite word. The first is "impossible".
When I was a little kid and I heard the phrase "this is an obstacle", my mind always created the image of an obstacle race. So, my answer was "Why don't you jump over it then?" Of course, all the adults laughed at the time and I didn't know what I said wrong -to the kid-me the answer was right there-. Eventually, this proved to be a moment that defined my personal approach to any obstacles I came across afterward.
Defining Obstacles
In general, a situation, an event, an object, a person, etc. that makes it difficult for you to do or achieve something is commonly known as an obstacle. When most people hear the word "obstacle", they also hear negativity, they sense a problem and they feel anxiety, anger, and even indignance. To my eyes, this is the reflectional reaction. The automatic mechanism inside our mind that transmits a telegraph in huge letters saying "YOU HAVE A PROBLEM". or more analytically:
"YOU CAN'T DO SOMETHING (GOAL, ACHIEVEMENT, JOB, etc.) BECAUSE OF (THE OBSTACLE)"
Right there, I had that beautiful memory of my childhood doing its magic "Why don't you jump over it then?" and all made sense. I have learned mainly subconsciously to see obstacles as something that can be jumped over, and later something that can have multiple forms.
You know "ob- " the English prefix of the word has a dual meaning. As Membean mentions, in words like "obligation" it means towards, a tying of some duty “towards” you; in the case of the word obstacle" ob-" meaning “against” or “in the way,” refers to that which stands “against” you, “in the way” of proceeding from point A to point B. Nevertheless, when you split the word into syllables "ob" stands alone, so its dual meaning is not entirely lost, is it? I would argue it’s a matter of perspective. Although people see obstacles as things that get in the way, they can also get you toward your destination.
How is that possible? Well, to answer that I have to say first what I believe you do with an obstacle when you meet it. Obstacles can have a specific and material form such as an object or a person hindering your endeavor from getting flesh and bones. Alternatively, they can be more abstract such as a condition or a more complex phenomenon whose presence/absence makes our plans less effective. These are the objective characteristics of the obstacle, its impact on you though is highly subjective firstly, to how you see the obstacle itself and secondly, to how you perceive your interaction.
The Delusion of the Past
The most common mistake people make when encountering an obstacle is to think "Why now? Why does this have to be today? Why to me?" and this is normal. Our reflectional reactions, as mentioned above, are activated when something impedes us from doing what we have in mind, but the main paradox with these reactions is that they focus on a potential past moment that cannot be changed.
You see while searching for a possible answer to the question "Why does this obstacle appear to me now?" you are trying to find a possible (not necessarily reasonable) explanation correlating a past event to the present setback you are facing. And I am going to ask, "How is this helping you?"
Even if there is indeed an accurate past event that could explain the reason behind your obstacle’s presence the only way this method can help you jump over it, is to change the question focus. Instead of asking "Why does this obstacle appear to me now?"
you ask "If I find the cause of this obstacle's presence, will it help me to overcome it?".
The former question focuses on the past that is out of your control, while the latter emphasizes the present and future that you are able to determine.
So, if the answer is "Yes" then you can search for the cause to find the solution. If the answer is "No" then you would better concentrate on what you can do about the obstacle in front of you.
Dealing Methods: Jump over-Avoid-Transform
I mentioned previously that I have learned since my childhood that obstacles can be jumped over. Another lesson I have learned growing older is that they can also be avoided and transformed.
One way to deal with the everyday obstacles is to overcome them or as I prefer to say "to jump over them". To do this, you have to be aware of your obstacle's characteristics. Is it a situation? What do you know about its development? Is it a person? What is your relationship with him/her? Is it an emergency? How fast can you respond? Is it best for you to jump over this obstacle alone, or perhaps a little help would be beneficial?
You can't jump over something that you don't know its height. Similarly, you can overcome an obstacle if you are ignorant of its nature. After you find out, the "If "question will serve you well.
A second way of facing obstacles is to face their potential presence, not the obstacles themselves. In other words, if the first method is not applicable in your situation, then please ask yourself: "Can I create an alternative path towards my goal where the obstacle is absent?" This alternative path may include using different methods or putting your plan into action at a different time. Understandably, not every aspect of our lives is within our control zone. You may not control the road you're on, but you can control which road you pick.
Last but not least, what do you do when you can't jump over the obstacle standing in the way between you and your goal and you also can't find an alternative solution? In this case, you have to accept that you can't affect the obstacle itself or the obstacle's presence, but you can affect its impact on you.
The only way to do that is to let it win, to embrace the reality of a failure in your endeavors, and then turn this failure into your motivator. After having experienced a failure due to the incapability of overcoming or avoiding what got in the way, then make it something to get you toward.
This is not an easy path, but most of the time is unavoidable. There will be a moment in your life when you will be in the position of just accepting what happened and moving on. Time, Patience, and Reflection will be your main weapons. So the next time, you will be equipped to address the setback before it makes its entrance into your life. The next time you will have already prepared the main solution and the alternatives before meeting any obstacles. Because fear of failure will not be your rival anymore, it will be one of your sources of self-motivation. It will be the telegraph inside your mind saying "Anything standing between you and your goals is testing how far you want to go to turn them into outcomes".